“You say they’ll be cool with it, but seriously, Harry, you don’t know how white people can get about this stuff.”

Posted in Excerpts/Quotes on 2018-05-20 00:44Z by Steven

“You say they’ll be cool with it, but seriously, Harry, you don’t know how white people can get about this stuff. I really don’t want to show up to the royal goddamned wedding and suddenly the Queen, Prince Charles, and Camilla Little-Miss-Perfect Duchess of Cornwall are being all weird! I wonder what could make them act like that, huh? Oh, God—please say your brother Prince William at least knows.” —“Meghan Markle

Furious Meghan Markle Can’t Believe Harry Hasn’t Told Family She’s Black Yet,” The Onion, May 17, 2018. https://www.theonion.com/furious-meghan-markle-can-t-believe-harry-hasn-t-told-f-1826104835.

Tags: ,

Furious Meghan Markle Can’t Believe Harry Hasn’t Told Family She’s Black Yet

Posted in Articles, Media Archive, United Kingdom on 2018-05-19 21:44Z by Steven

Furious Meghan Markle Can’t Believe Harry Hasn’t Told Family She’s Black Yet

The Onion
2018-05-17

LONDON—Reacting with indignation and frustration as her fiancé admitted his continued omission, furious royal bride-to-be Meghan Markle found herself unable to believe Thursday that Prince Harry had not yet informed the royal family that she is, in fact, black. “Jesus, Harry, what the hell? Are you ashamed of me?…

Read (and laugh at) the entire article here.

Tags: , ,

After Obama Victory, Shrieking White-Hot Sphere Of Pure Rage Early GOP Front-Runner For 2016

Posted in Barack Obama, Media Archive, Politics/Public Policy, United States, Videos on 2016-11-11 15:14Z by Steven

After Obama Victory, Shrieking White-Hot Sphere Of Pure Rage Early GOP Front-Runner For 2016

The Onion
November 2012

Sources say the screaming orb might be the only potential candidate that would tap into Republicans’ deep-seated, seething fury after this election.

Tags:

I Don’t See Race; I Only See Grayish-Brown, Vaguely Humanoid Shapes

Posted in Articles, Media Archive, United States on 2015-01-01 20:07Z by Steven

I Don’t See Race; I Only See Grayish-Brown, Vaguely Humanoid Shapes

The Onion
Issue 50•49, 2014-12-12

Janice Ketchum

I don’t understand why everyone seems to be so angry lately. Everywhere you look, there are marches, protests, riots—and all of it over so-called racism in our great country. I just don’t get it. I really don’t. But maybe that’s because, when I look at my fellow Americans, I don’t see a particular race or color. In fact, all I see is just a series of muted, roughly person-shaped silhouettes.

And this world would be a much better place if everyone else did, too.

If we want to go forward as a country, we have to move beyond race once and for all. It’s 2014! Why is it so hard for people to look past each other’s race, like I do, and see everyone as vaporous, beige-ish forms with limbs? All those blurry, vaguely human-shaped troublemakers shouting in the streets and the translucent bleeding-heart blobs moralizing on TV may feel the need to categorize everyone they see by their skin color, but I don’t give it a second thought. I wouldn’t even know how!

Take, for example, the recent deaths of Michael Brown and Eric Garner, which sparked widespread outrage over “institutional racism.” These protesters are stuck in the past. They haven’t progressed enough to see that we’re all just grayish-brown smudges between approximately 4 and 6 and a half feet tall. They are part of the problem! Whereas they see “black” victims and “white” police, I just see amorphous clouds of the same basic hue, some of which have guns…

Read (with tongue-in-cheek) the entire article here.

Tags: , , ,