I’m The Black Mom Of A Kid Who Looks White, & Your Comments Hurt Both Of Us

Posted in Articles, Family/Parenting, Media Archive, United States on 2017-07-24 00:53Z by Steven

I’m The Black Mom Of A Kid Who Looks White, & Your Comments Hurt Both Of Us

Romper
2017-07-23

Sa’iyda Shabazz


Courtesy of Sa’iyda Shabazz

When my son was born, he was pretty much as pale as his white dad. We were a bit surprised, but we also knew that’s just how genetics work sometimes. What really surprised us, however, were how people responded to seeing his skin color. No one could believe that I, as a black woman, had birthed such a white baby.

These questions continued throughout his life. People have asked me countless times whether I was my son’s babysitter or nanny, and once, when I was out with a white friend, the waitress asked her questions about him, because it never even entered her mind that he could have been mine. It was heartbreaking, and also infuriating.

Many white moms of mixed kids have told me that my perceptions of how people deal with my mixed kid are wrong, and that I’m being overly sensitive. But as a Black mom with a kid who looks white, I’m seen as taking up space, and I find it incredibly frustrating. No one knows what to do with me. Strangers look at me and then at my son, trying to find enough similarities between us to make the familial connection. Some will be bold enough to ask, “Is he yours?”…

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Seeing Santa in Black and White

Posted in Articles, Family/Parenting, Media Archive, United States on 2016-12-21 18:22Z by Steven

Seeing Santa in Black and White

The New York Times
2016-12-20

Sa’iyda Shabazz


Sa’iyda Shabazz and her son visited the black Santa at Macy’s Herald Square store last week.

When my friend posted an adorable picture of her son with a black Santa in New York City, I was drawn to the idea of visiting a Santa who reflected my family’s skin tones. I’m black, and my 3-year-old son’s father is white. I am raising him as a single mom with the help of my parents. Why should white Santa be the default?

Of course, you can find children’s books that feature a black Santa Claus, and he appears in some ornaments and other products. The website blacksanta.com, founded by the former N.B.A. player Baron Davis, sells products like T-shirts, hats and ornaments featuring images of black Santa. In a classic episode of “The Cosby Show,” Dr. Huxtable explains to one of the children that as Santa drops down each chimney, his race morphs to match that of the family he’s visiting – Asian, African-American, Caucasian and so on.

It’s a nice sentiment, but the reality is that black Santas are pretty hard to find. When the Mall of America in Minnesota enlisted a black Santa this year, he was popular with children but his presence prompted an unpleasant racial backlash online

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